Fender Bender for the Plaid Girl

Warning: This post should be rated R for language...

Yes, the title says it all. I don't even know where to start. I swear, this must be the shittiest 2 weeks I've ever had. I guess it could be worse, but damn, it sure is sucking right now.

So, I make plans for drinks/appetizers with friends and then to see the Sex & The City movie last night. I get in the car, drive up I-95 and then as I'm getting off at the exit ramp I stop b/c there is a red light. I'm listening to my man (John Mayer) and so excited to just be out and away from home and small children. I am stopped. The next thing I know I hit the car in front of me. WTF? I didn't even know I hit her until the lovely bang I hear. I guess I took my foot off of the brake.

I drive a Honday Odyssey (my husband calls it the Loser Cruiser) and the woman in front is in a Suburban (freaking tank). The first thing I see is her rear bumper. Minor ding. Minor. So I'm thinking I won't be that bad. HOLY SHIT> looks horrible. I have her trailer hitch imprinted on my front bumper along with several scratches and dents. I swear, I thought I was going to throw up right there. The whole time I'm thinking, 'How in the hell did I do this?" I still am pondering it. I'm now wondering if I subconsciously thought she was going so I accelerated b/c I really don't see how it did the damage that it did if I just crept up on her........

The lady was a mom and so nice and probably close to my age. She was so nice and felt sorry for me and said she was glad that we both were ok. So, we are trying to decide if we should call the cops b/c we both know whose fault it was (mine) and we are both unhurt and our vehicles are drivable. We are both calling our insurance and a Georgia State Patrol drives up.....welcome Officer Jerkface.

He did the typical 'license and registration' and blah blah blah. He actually took forever and the other lady and I were both wondering what the hell he was doing...being thorough--using some tool to mark what happened, etc. and writing up an accident report. And then writing up my TICKET. WTF?

So, he comes over and I see the paper (for some reason I recognize it--I wonder why?). I say, "I'm getting a ticket?" He says, "Yes, for this to happen you were following too closely. That is what I'm citing you for. Though you can take it to court if you want." And then continues to say how I can take it to the judge. I can contest it. I can talk to a judge. Really, you can take it to court. Seriously, he says it like 6 times. I GOT IT. THANK YOU. SHUT UP. I finally said, "It's fine." But I was thinking, " SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT. UP."

I just didn't have the heart to go to the movie. I was just so upset. I just knew my hubby was going to KILL me. He didn't and was very sweet. I am just so upset with myself. He just told me that I need to pay better attention. He also asked me if I was on the phone. NO I WASN'T. I PROMISE. Seriously, I wasn't. I'd probably feel a little better if I was b/c then I'd have more of a reason or something to blame. But, nope. Just stupidity I guess......or daydreaming or ???

So, that is me. I also had a metal Gator tag on the front and part of it broke off and is all smashed (No comments necessary from the Peanut Gallery--Clemsongirl!).

I took it in to check my damage. So far it's $1600. New bumper, possibly grill, and something to do with the air conditioner. And the nice little old man told me to be checking b/c my air conditioner might not work like it is supposed to---and yes, I noticed when I put the air on 60 degrees that it wasn't that cold. Usually in my car it is freezing if you do that. Granted it is 100bazillion degrees in S. Georgia right now, so I'm wondering if that is it. I. Seriously. Doubt. It.

And here's the clincher-my in-laws and family are coming on Saturday to Miss Bug's baptism. We're talking MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL and all my family too. I'm sure I'll get an earful. I am thinking about pretending like I don't know it's there and then whenever someone mentions it, I'll be like, "What happened? What are you talking about?"

What do you think?