Monday, June 30, 2008

Benadryl better kick in...

So sue me, call Childcare Services. I don't care. Gave Big Brother Benadryl to get him to go to sleep. It's 9:10 pm. He's been in bed since about 8. IT. IS. TIME.

Thought he was asleep. Just heard him. DANG.

We did the drive. all.the.way.home. It wasn't terrible, but let's just say I don't plan on doing it again until I forget how hard and painful it is to drive 2 small children for about 8 hours in the car. Miss Bug slept from 11:45-12:15pm. Then didn't fall asleep again until 4PM! She was getting mental back there.

Thank goodness Big Brother fell asleep right before that because if I heard "Mommy are we there YEEEEETTT?" one more time I might've clocked him with a snack from the front seat. Seriously. A girl has her limits.

Big Brother loves loves loves to sleep with Mamaw. They are very close and it is a special treat to get to sleep and snuggle with her. She loves it too! So of course now that we're home he doesn't want to sleep in the big boy bed. This usually happens for a night or two and then he's okay.

Since Daddy is out of town I don't feel like fighting it tonight. I put him in our bed. Here is what has transpired:

Big Brother: Mommy, can I please watch one more show?

Me: NO.

Big Brother: Please?

Me: No. Don't ask again.

Big Brother begins to cry and cry and cry and talk about how he's never going to get to see his mamaw again: It is going to take a wong wong time before I see her again.

Me: No, It's not. I know it's hard. I miss her too. We'll see her again. How about tomorrow we set up the bounce house and invite some friends to come over?

Big Brother: Ok. Can we go to the movies and the pool, too?

Me: We'll see . (always hated that answer as a child)

Big Brother: I weally miss Mamaw. It's going to be a wong wong time before I see her again. I just know it.

Me: No it's not honey. We'll go see her again and she'll come here, just like always. (They're headed to Alaska on Friday.....lucky ducks)

Big Brother: Mommy. I have to tell you something. I'm very very very sad and I miss Mamaw so so much.

I'm feeling sorry for him for the first 1/2 hour. Now I'm ready to hang him.

I told him he needed to get it together or he was going to go back to his room.

Big Brother: *sniffle* sniffle* Mommy, my legs hurt.

Sometimes he gets growing pains, but he did no sort of exercise, so I gave him Benadryl instead of Tylenol.

So here I am blogging, missing the Bachelorette AGAIN..........waiting for him to pass out.

Just went in there and checked on him. He is so stinking cute. Here is what all is in the bed surrounding him: green stuffed animal turtle, orange stuffed animal turtle, stuffed animal sting ray, 4 metal airplanes, Thomas flashlight, sippy cup of water. I just was snuggling with him (he is asleep) and realized I was latched on to the green turtle. Lovely.

BTW, don't freak out. I gave him the appropriate recommended dosage according to his weight and age--2 cups. HA! Just kidding--one teaspoon.

You guilty of Benadryl? Come on...fess up.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Drive Home...

is tomorrow. 7 1/2. hour. drive. at. least. Please pray to our Dear Lord that I make it and don't end up duct taping anyboy's mouth shut! Just in case I begin to get looney (or should I say Big Brother begins to get looney), I bought reinforcements for the ride--

For Big Brother:
#1. Alvin and the Chipmunks Cartoon Series ---approx. 66 minutes
#2. Little Einsteins Lost in Space -- approx. 78 minutes
and the grand finale ...
#3. Diego and something about a Gorilla -- approx. 98 minutes

For Miss Bug:
New batteries for her Baby Einstein music thingamabob that she looks at...

For a grand-freaking-total of $50.72!!!!

For Me:
Nada--but I'll have a full cup o' Joe and some candy stashed somewhere that Big Brother can't see!!!

Then when we get home I get to call the roofer to come and fix our house so we can take the tarps down. Unless you think that someone would want to buy the house w/holes and lovely tarps included?

Now let's have Group Prayer for my sanity...........

Friday, June 27, 2008

Potty Mouth Plaid Girl

My sister-in-law brought her two sons to visit today while we are at Mamaw/Papaw Camp 2008. My dad, who was labeled as a 'Super Guy' by my 6 year old nephew, was willing to entertain. He has a workshop with all kinds of trinkets, etc, so the boys had a ball. Three boys--2 of them 4 years old (my son being one of the 4 year olds), and then the 6 year old--were in Papaw's Workshop. My sister-in-law and I watched Miss Bug while they played out there for a while.

When Miss Bug went down for a nap, we rode the golf cart around to the different barns to visit the animals. We were visiting and feeding the goats when they began to sneak out from under the gate. I went back to the barn to get some more feed to put in their trough so that I could herd the goats back into the fence.

When I got in there, all of a sudden the big black goat was jumping up to look into the barrel of feed. So here's this big ol' goat practically jumping on me! It scared me to death and I yelled, "Shit!" It was just the automatic response coming out of me. The 6 year old nephew and my son were outside sitting in the golf cart while random goats roamed about, but the other 4 year old nephew was in the barn with me. He is the fearless one. Needless to say, he heard me and immediately yelled, "Shit!" My sister-in-law about fell over. She ran over to him and told him he was NOT to say that word ever again and that Aunt Karen shouldn't have said it.

I felt horrible and apologized and told my nephew that I shouldn't have said it. I said to my sister-in-law, "He's never heard that before?" She said no. Woops. I truly don't think my son has ever heard that word before either, but anytime he does hear a new word, he's never immediately tried it out!

It was pretty funny though. Maybe my son is saving it in his mental Rolodex and will pull it out sometime at church or in public somewhere. I guess we shall find out, eh?


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Have a great weekend!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Twice Blessed....

I just got back from visiting Love & Labs TWINS! OMG! They are absolutely ADORABLE! Of course Susan looks fantastic as well. I just couldn't believe it when I saw them both! She got to hold them together today and I took about 20,394,738,292 pics. It was wonderful. This is my bestest friend in the whole world and I have been waiting for 4 1/2 years (since the birth of my son), for her to experience the wonder and miracle of a baby. Of course she has to go and make two of them--trying to one-up me I suppose. I got to touch them both and talk to them and tell them how precious they were and how I was looking so forward to shopping for them and holding them and spoiling them rotten. You can do that with your best friend's kids you know. It's a right you get when you've stayed around for the long-haul, don't you think?

I just could go on and on about these babies, but I have to tend to my own now. They are demanding little things--one needing a bottle and the other talking my ears off. I am so thankful to Mamaw and Papaw for babysitting so I could make the 4 hour trip. It was quicker going up there and then I got stuck in traffic coming back. So worth every mile. I so enjoyed sharing such a special time in their lives!

This is the first time I have been the one 'on the other side of the fence' so to speak. I am the one who has already had the baby, not the one having the baby. And that, my friends, is a perk as well. The one part I was envious of was the fact that the bottle of Percocet had HER name on it, not mine! HA HA

So go and kiss your babies (or baby) tonight, no matter how old they are and remind yourself that you have true blessings from God.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Mamaw & Papaw Camp Summer 08

Yes, we are at Mamaw and Papaw's house. HALLELUJAH! It is about a 7 1/2 hour drive, but we made it. We actually arrived Sunday and small children were SO happy to be out of the car! Miss Bug did really well considering she is strapped in backwards getting to look at the grey leather seat. Highlights for her included sucking on the chip clip I found in the front seat, and then getting to rub a cookie all over herself including her ear and hair. Hey, it kept her quiet.

Big Brother, on the other hand, watched the portable DVD the whole entire time. Sometimes I think his brain will turn to mush on these occasions. He watched Dora & Diego, Curious George and Backyardigans. Daddy bought him Chicken Run, but it didn't make the cut. He also enjoyed Skittles and Chocolate Chip Rice Cakes....or was that me?

Mamaw and Papaw met us about 2 hours before we got home to help out. I can go about 5 hours but then we start the meltdown experience so they help me out. It makes everyone happy and able to last for the rest of the trip!

So, like Clemsongirl, we are having Mamaw&Papaw Camp 2008. I am getting to go see Love & Labs new baby girls on Wednesday and leave small children w/grandparents. I'll spend one night with Love & Labs and be like a real live grown-up! I'm taking sweet baby girl gifts and lots of Miss Bugs old clothes. I love shopping for girls! Oh the variations of plaids they have for little is wonderful!

BTW, just got a call from my neighbor last night. She says, "Karen, don't freak out but a big ol' tree limb fell through your roof." WHAT? My neighbors came to the rescue (Thank you Kelley!)and put up a tarp over the hole and then put a tarp over our chimney b/c some big ol' piece of metal fell off of it and flew into the street. Apparently the limb didn't go through the ceiling, just into the attic.

They said our street looked really bad--rain and wind storm--limbs, leaves, debris everywhere. I'm out of town w/offspring and Daddy is on the West Coast working for 2 straight weeks. I get to call the insurance company again (see previous post when I had the fender bender). I wonder why I have their number memorized by now?

I guess we won't be having an Operation: Open House this weekend as planned. Might not look so good with the two tarps bunged(sp?) to the sides of the house. Mmmmm. Notsomuch.

The Bachelorette 2008

So I got the last 20 minutes of The Bachelorette....and I missed some d-r-a-m-a! Dang--the one night I miss it, I miss the good stuff! I was able to watch the rose ceremony and couldn't believe it when she didn't pick Graham and picked the snowboarder who DESPERATELY needs to cut his hair!

Any of you who have been watching DeAnna (CrapTV), tell me what happened with Graham! Looks like he acted like a jackass from the last few minutes I saw. And then he gives her this letter, probably pouring out his heart, but too little too late Big Man! She was visibly upset!

So, help me out if you watched last night! :)

Sunday, June 22, 2008

2 Baby Girls for Love & Labs!

I don't have many details, but this is what I know: Susan D. (Love & Labs) had baby girls last night. Don't know what time but know this:

Baby A 3 lbs. 2 ounces 17 3/4 inches long
Baby B 4 lbs. 9 ounces 17 3/4 inches long
Baby girl names have not been decided........

From what Daddy told me, everything went fine. Apparently Baby B (the bigger one) needed a little help with some oxygen. That is all I know.

Of course Auntie Mad About Plaid Girl is about to BURST with JOY! Girls, imagine the shopping I get to do now!!!!! Shopping for baby girls is the best ever!

Had to put text in pink in honor of our new girls....

Thank you God for taking care of all my are so good.

Saturday, June 21, 2008


for Love & Labs.........I just call a call from her husband. She is being prepped for a c-section right now. She is having twins.....She was 33 weeks on Thursday. That's all I know. I'll update as I know anything......thank you.

Friday, June 20, 2008

It's Over! It's Over!

My sweet baby boy made it through with shining colors! (see previous post)

If you want details, comment on my blog and I'll email you, but everything went really well. Big Brother started to get antsy because he was hungry and thirsty so he wanted to see the dentist so he could eat! We went back in the room and when they were getting ready to do the IV (which he had NO clue about) I told him I had to go potty and that I'd be right back. Daddy was in there with him. He gave him the 'bear hug' so that they could do the IV. I could hear him getting very upset but within a few minutes he became calm. I went back in and he was out. And I mean out. I was actually relieved because I knew that most likely the worst was over.

He got cavities filled, woke up from sedation with no problem and wanted to eat! First thing he said (very drowsily) was, "Mommy, they gave me a shot." Then said, "I'm hungry."

Everyone was very nice. I can tell you right now--no way on God's Green Earth could I be a dentist--a pediatric one at that. I'm sorry, no offense to anyone who is one, is married to one, is a daughter of one, etc, but it is just not something I could do. When I heard the next victim, I mean patient, crying and crying it just broke my heart. I guess I couldn't be a doctor either. I know they help people and I'm so thankful we have people who have the gift of doing those things, but not for me. People say that about teacher sometimes too, and being one of those, I love doing it. So to each his own!

So, Big Brother was fine all afternoon taking full advantage of the opportunity to eat Cheetos Cheese Puffs until his belly was more than full. Me, on the other hand, needed a nap. I took a snooze and Big Brother watched his new Diego DVD. Daddy worked and Miss Bug napped, too.
I love naps. I love my bed. I love sleep.

Just took 2 Tylenol PM's. I wish I still had some of those good pain meds from when I had my c-section-talk about 'chillin'! Thanks for all of your well wishes and support.

For the record, Big Brother doesn't even think/know they looked in his mouth. He said he got a shot. That was it. Doesn't even realize he has 6 new fillings. And the fillings aren't that shiny silver anymore like I had. They look like the silver of a Crayola crayon--kind of fuzzy looking and are more camouflaged in his mouth. (We didn't go porcelain b/c Dentist said those tend to fall out easier and we did not want to take that risk!)

Sedation Shesmation...

So I'm a little on edge. Today we take Big Brother to the dentist for his sedation. The background of this is a long story and if you look back in my previous posts you will find more about this. I haven't figured out how to link stuff from previous posts to my current posts yet.

Anyway, long story short--took Big Brother to dentist at 3 1/2. He did great. They cleaned teeth and found a cavity. We went back, had it filled, they found another. The second time I decided it would be best for him to go to a Pediatric Dentist because he was beginning to get upset with the shots and such. The first two times he was SUCH a trooper, definitely more courageous than his momma, but I digress.

We go to Pediatric Dentist. They take x-rays and find 6 more cavities! (And yes, we actually brush his teeth. That's yet another long story.) So, they go in to put a crown on one filling that had fallen out (WTH?) after about 30 minutes I hear my kid crying. Ok. Screaming. (You aren't allowed to go back there once they begin because you might cause unnecessary drama. Me? Drama? Me want to go apesh*t on somebody when my baby starts crying?Nahhhh.) I try not to freak out and politely inform the receptionist (who seems oblivious to the fact that a small child is wailing--MY small child) that that is indeed my offspring and what the h*ll is going on?

Big Brother was struggling. And who can blame him? I've never even had a crown. Yes they used nitrous oxide (goofy gas) and a shot but he was just 'done'. The dentist said with the amount of cavities that he has that we should sedate him.

So a bazillion phone calls later to insurance --dental and medical--and we get it covered--almost $250 deductible and then they pay 90%. Today is the day. They have a Pediatric Anesthesiologist come one day a month to help out with these types of things. Your appointment time is based upon your age. Youngest kids go first.

Our appointment time is 12:15PM. This means I set alarm for 5:30am to wake up my son so I can feed him breakfast. He can have no food for 6 hours before and then no fluids for 3 hours before. For the love of all that's holy, pray for me everybody. Pray that Big Brother can last without too many meltdowns without food for this long and then without liquid. Pray that I can handle it when they give my baby a shot to knock him out so they can take him back and put an IV in his foot. Pray that they get everything they need to get done in his mouth once and for all (for now!). Pray that he wakes up calmly. Pray that this mama can keep herself sane through this procedure.

Yes, I know it's not like a transplant, but this is the biggest deal we've had in our family so far and we are very, very blessed. But I'm still concerned.

So for all you readers/lurkers who don't comment, now is the time. I need support from you. Just to know that you read this, you said a positive thought/mantra/prayer/lit a candle in my kid's honor, etc. would be extremely calming and reassuring to this mama.

Thanks and I'll let you know how it goes. It is only 7:30 in the morning and so far so good.

PS. While I was typing this the phone rang. Dentist office--a little one got sick so we're moved to 11:15am. Hallelujah! Were you guys thinking about us and praying already? Thanks!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

But Mommy I'm Afwaiidddd.....

Big Brother, 4 1/2 years old, the one who talks non-stop when he is not asleep, is afraid to sleep in his room. I was going to type that he is afraid of the dark, but I don't think that is completely true. It might be some elaborate dreams/nightmares too.

This isn't necessarily 'new' for us. He goes through various phases of sleeping 'all night long in his big boy bed' to needing to sleep in our 'big boy bed'. He is one of those kids who would sleep with us each and every night if we'd let him. He just loves to snuggle bless his little heart. I think most nights I'd just snuggle him right in, but I know the habit will form. So, rather than having him join us, one of us puts him back into his bed.

Let me clarify one more thing. He goes to sleep in his bed. He pretty much always goes to bed easily. It's the middle of the night when he comes in--midnight, 3 am, 4:30, you name it.

I'm not saying he never sleeps with us. When he is sick he is in our bed. I don't play when it comes to being sick. I don't mean the runny nose kind of sick, I mean the fever kind.

This time is different. Before he'd just say he wanted to sleep with us. Now he is saying he is afraid of the dark. We have done several things to fix this:

1. Gone beyond the nightlight and put a 15 watt bulb in his lamb on his dresser. It stays on (not sure how I feel about that--fire hazard?)

2. The bathroom light stays on. We have 2 lights in our bathroom--one right above the sink and then a dimmer one that is above our shower. We just use the dimmer one. (Maybe we should use the brighter one?)

3. He sleeps with a small flashlight that stays on.

4. He has 493743 stuffed animals or cars or helicopters or whatever the newest toy is in his bed.

5. Daddy put a force field around our home to protect us and nobody can get in unless we LET them in.

6. He still has a fan on in his room.

7. Sleeps with 'blankie'.

I do have a minor concern that his imagination is getting the best of him. He is talking about eels coming into his room with an 'eggtoof' that sneaks into his room. I think he has been having some elaborate dreams/nightmares. Then I worry that I'm letting him watch stuff that might scare him on TV. But it seems everything/anything can be scary if you let it! Seriously, I found a way to make Max and Ruby somewhat frightening the last time I watched it. Come to think of it, we've not watched anything new these days.

What is next? All I can tell you is that when he comes in for the 3rd time in the night I don't care where he sleeps just as long as he leaves me alone. He also comes to my side of the bed and tries to sneak in. He's gotten in our bed a time or two when Daddy didn't even know he was boy comes to his mommy's side of the bed.

I feel for him. I remember being afraid as a child that someone would get me. I did go to my parents room and sleep in there sometimes. I don't remember how much, but I cherished those times I got to be snuggled next to my mommy!

It's just that he would be in there every night and that is not healthy for our family. Some kids sleep with their parents for a long time. That is what is right for their family, but it isn't right for ours. So .... help!

If anyone has anymore helpful advice, I'd love to hear it. Could this just be another phase?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Good Reads...

So I just finished this book The Secret Life of Cee Cee Wilkes by Diane Chamberlain. Can you say GREAT BOOK? I devoured it, not just read it casually, but DEVOURED it. By devoured I mean that I read it at every free moment I had and even added some not-s0-free moments here and there. That is the bad thing about good books. I can't stop reading them. I neglect my children, my husband, my dog and my daily chores to just sit and read. I don't get to read much anymore now that Miss Bug is busier, but when I find a good book, it's all over honey.
Flip the TV on to some craptv like Baby Einstein or Spongebob (God Forbid) depending on who is bothering me--and read, read, read. We're talking (here's the visual): I remain in my pajamas, glasses still on at 11am (usually put contacts in close after I wake up), coffee mug half-full with coffee still in it and -here's the clincher- teeth not brushed.
Breakfast dishes sitting on trays in the living room because it was easier than making everyone sit at the table. But the dishes are spotless because our furry companion, Carly, has already passed through and made sure I wasn't paying attention so she licked the plates/bowls clean. She probably loves it when I read. It's her signal to creep up and get a free waffle or bacon and eggs!
So, thanks Preppy Mama for the good read. It was great. And did you like Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult? She is my FAVORITE author of ALL time so far, so if anyone has read her and knows of any books similar, please let me know. I loved Diane Chamberlain's book, but she still was no Jodi........though I'll probably read another one by her because she is the closest I've come to 'crack' books.
I've got some other books to keep me going (read: neglecting) in the meantime, but if anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear from you! I just can't seem to find the intensity of Jodi from any other author. And it doesn't have to be that much drama, I just like the suspense and realism of her novels. I have also read some great books by Joshilynn Jackson, so if you know who she is and know of other authors like her, let me know that one too!
PS Blogger is not letting me separate my paragraphs and it is making me mad, so bear with me!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I've Been Tagged!

So I love getting tagged and Boo and Hootie's Mom tagged me. (Thanks, B&H's Mom--you are very sweet) I get to give the Blogger Award to others, too. Fun!

I give the blogger award to:

The Pink Clutch (she keeps me on my toes with shopping deals from Target..)
La Vie En Rose (she is so sweet)
Preppy Mama (we are a lot alike and she is so cute)
AFRo (am new to reading her post and really into it lately!)
Love & Labs (I cannot live without the 'documenting the belly'!)
Clemsongirl and the Coach (She is just so darn funny & I look forward to her posts.)

Here are the rules:
Give the award to up to 10 people whose blogs bring you happiness and inspiration and make you feel so happy about blogland!!! Leave them a comment on their blog to let them know they received this award! may get the award several times!!!
Remember that people can be tagged more than once!!!!!!!!

Happy Friday!

How Come

Big Brother had a a friend over to play, we went to swimming lessons, I fed dinner to 2 small children, bathed those same 2 small children and put those same 2 small children to bed and I feel like I've just run the Boston Marathon?

Maybe it also has to do with:
the 423,456,434 loads of laundry I've done,
and the vacuuming,
and the sweeping,
and the mopping,
and the dishes,
and the dusting,
and the booty-wiping.......

I think it was the whining the ensued when flossing Big Brother's teeth that about put me over the edge. Floss can do that to ya, you know......

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Good Times...

Big Brother and Susie's Son (Susie and Miss Bug in background)

Sorry I've been out of touch for a while. We baptized our little girl (Miss Bug) this past weekend and everybody and their brother was here for the weekend. My best friend from Colorado came with her son. You can see her (Susie) in the background holding Miss Bug. Susie is Bug's Godmother. Susie's son is the one with the shirt buttoned all the way up. My son (Big Brother) is next to him. He looks taller but that is because he was standing on the railing of the gate! Normally I don't show pics of kids, but just couldn't resist...

So, we had all grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and a lot of barbecue all weekend long! We also had a bounce house in the backyard for the kiddos. It was hot, but a nice diversion from the amount of chaos going on when they were all in the house. A good time was had by all. Next time we will have to do it in a bigger house. Which means our upcoming move to Atlanta needs to get a move on! Still trying, have been showing the house more, so that is good. Might have a lead on some people from Alaska but you know once you get your hopes up it goes down the pooper, so I'm not doing that.

It was WONDERFUL to see Susie and her son. We went to the beach one day, pool the next. Susie's son is the one that I wrote about in my 100 things. He had a heart transplant about 2 months before he turned 3. And no, he wasn't BORN with this defect. It literally happened within about a week. The cause could've been strep related, but no one will ever truly know. He is a walking miracle. I could go on and on about him!

So, I'm just getting home from airport and the laundry saga continues. Of course all I want to do is catch up on blogs and let my son watch CrapTV. Miss Bug is supposed to be taking a nap but is still buzzing her lips in her crib.

bzbzbzzzzzzzzz. bbbzzz

We have swim lessons today at 4:30. I'm sure she'll fall asleep at 3:45.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR.PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W.BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions.I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in hiseyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.Somebody toldus the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:I have just released e-Chicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ....... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath thechicken?

BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:I invented the chicken!
DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

'It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible.' ~President George Washington

**Mad about plaid girl sides with Dr. Seuss**

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Fender Bender for the Plaid Girl

Warning: This post should be rated R for language...

Yes, the title says it all. I don't even know where to start. I swear, this must be the shittiest 2 weeks I've ever had. I guess it could be worse, but damn, it sure is sucking right now.

So, I make plans for drinks/appetizers with friends and then to see the Sex & The City movie last night. I get in the car, drive up I-95 and then as I'm getting off at the exit ramp I stop b/c there is a red light. I'm listening to my man (John Mayer) and so excited to just be out and away from home and small children. I am stopped. The next thing I know I hit the car in front of me. WTF? I didn't even know I hit her until the lovely bang I hear. I guess I took my foot off of the brake.

I drive a Honday Odyssey (my husband calls it the Loser Cruiser) and the woman in front is in a Suburban (freaking tank). The first thing I see is her rear bumper. Minor ding. Minor. So I'm thinking I won't be that bad. HOLY SHIT> looks horrible. I have her trailer hitch imprinted on my front bumper along with several scratches and dents. I swear, I thought I was going to throw up right there. The whole time I'm thinking, 'How in the hell did I do this?" I still am pondering it. I'm now wondering if I subconsciously thought she was going so I accelerated b/c I really don't see how it did the damage that it did if I just crept up on her........

The lady was a mom and so nice and probably close to my age. She was so nice and felt sorry for me and said she was glad that we both were ok. So, we are trying to decide if we should call the cops b/c we both know whose fault it was (mine) and we are both unhurt and our vehicles are drivable. We are both calling our insurance and a Georgia State Patrol drives up.....welcome Officer Jerkface.

He did the typical 'license and registration' and blah blah blah. He actually took forever and the other lady and I were both wondering what the hell he was doing...being thorough--using some tool to mark what happened, etc. and writing up an accident report. And then writing up my TICKET. WTF?

So, he comes over and I see the paper (for some reason I recognize it--I wonder why?). I say, "I'm getting a ticket?" He says, "Yes, for this to happen you were following too closely. That is what I'm citing you for. Though you can take it to court if you want." And then continues to say how I can take it to the judge. I can contest it. I can talk to a judge. Really, you can take it to court. Seriously, he says it like 6 times. I GOT IT. THANK YOU. SHUT UP. I finally said, "It's fine." But I was thinking, " SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT. UP."

I just didn't have the heart to go to the movie. I was just so upset. I just knew my hubby was going to KILL me. He didn't and was very sweet. I am just so upset with myself. He just told me that I need to pay better attention. He also asked me if I was on the phone. NO I WASN'T. I PROMISE. Seriously, I wasn't. I'd probably feel a little better if I was b/c then I'd have more of a reason or something to blame. But, nope. Just stupidity I guess......or daydreaming or ???

So, that is me. I also had a metal Gator tag on the front and part of it broke off and is all smashed (No comments necessary from the Peanut Gallery--Clemsongirl!).

I took it in to check my damage. So far it's $1600. New bumper, possibly grill, and something to do with the air conditioner. And the nice little old man told me to be checking b/c my air conditioner might not work like it is supposed to---and yes, I noticed when I put the air on 60 degrees that it wasn't that cold. Usually in my car it is freezing if you do that. Granted it is 100bazillion degrees in S. Georgia right now, so I'm wondering if that is it. I. Seriously. Doubt. It.

And here's the clincher-my in-laws and family are coming on Saturday to Miss Bug's baptism. We're talking MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL and all my family too. I'm sure I'll get an earful. I am thinking about pretending like I don't know it's there and then whenever someone mentions it, I'll be like, "What happened? What are you talking about?"

What do you think?