Jill's Service...

was awesome. They even released butterflies at the end and Jill's daughter was the first to release one. Very cool. The same man who married them did Jill's service. Though he was a little long-winded, it was quite sincere and kind.

Jill's husband spoke. He was amazing. Spoke for several minutes, got choked up, and would continue. Jill's son, Evan, came up to see his daddy during the speaking part and would say, "Up! Up! Upp-y! Upp-y!" It was precious. He started to spit and Jill's husband said, "No spit." It was SO relevant to my life right now. My daughter is the same age as Evan and man, oh man, she is a handful. Here we are, celebrating a life that was taken much too early, and Evan is just living in the moment. Maybe he is on to something...

We went back to Jill's house afterwards. Jill and her husband bought a house in the neighborhood in which we grew up. They actually bought a house that belonged to a boy we went to high school with--completely nostalgic and ironic at the same time. I did drive by my old house, also...pretty cool.

Ken Block, from Sister Hazel, sang a song he wrote about his own brother who died from Cancer. That was incredible. He is amazing as well.

Got to see several old friends from high school. We all still can't believe we are growing up. It doesn't feel like it. We decided to definitely have a place for Jill at our 20 year high school reunion which is coming up next summer.

If you are curious to learn more about Jill, go www.caringbridge.org/visit/jillrowell
Pretty cool story.

So today is Saturday. My 2 year old daughter has already forced me to dress her and put on her shoes....wants to go "siiiidddddeee!" (outside) Guess I'll go for now, and will swing my little girl in remembrance of someone who can no longer do it.

A comeback?

I'm trying to get back to blogging and lately I could be writing novels. Wow--too much to say. More than anything else I want to write a letter to my dear friend Jill. We grew up together...middle school pimples and scrunched hair, bus stops and sleepovers. Then we went to high school together....sweet 16 birthday and a new car for Jill, boyfriends, clubs, the list goes on...

...and now it's gone. Of course the memories will be etched in my mind almost like parking spaces in a car lot. I have so many of them that are filled with Jill.

She was too young to die. We are all too young to die. Hell, we are only 37. I even thought I was 38 the other day until a friend reminded me we aren't there yet!

But Jill will remain 37 in my mind forever. On Sunday she died of heart failure as a result of the damage that Chemo can do to you. She was diagnosed with Leukemia (AML) in June of 2009 and went into remission over the holidays.

It came back.

She didn't make it this time.

It has been a shock. A shock to us all. So many of us are on facebook now and many of us are posting about the sadness and the loss. Jill leaves behind a loving husband and 2 small children. Carlie is 5 and Evan turned 2 in January.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

We were supposed to see each other again at our 20 year reunion, take some pics of us together, and then talk about how we'd HAVE to get together again....sooner than later.

And now I'm headed to her Celebration of Life on Friday ....

I love you Jilly!

I Heart Tivo/DVR Whatever You Call It

I got to watch Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice minus commercials the other day. Made me more than happy. Quite giddy. I even would rewind a little so I could look at some bare chest. Ooh la la those men are quite easy on the eyes! Love those shows.

I'm recording The Bachelor. I think that Jake is pleasant to look at as well. I really think he is a nice guy, too. This time I'm a little more curious about him....I have a feeling we aren't seeing 'everything' there is to know about him. I think he has serious perfectionistic tendencies that we don't know about. Or he's a momma's boy. Not sure what it is about him.

And of course they've done their jobs on ABC by putting on some freaks--that chick Michelle is psycho. Seriously, she needs some therapy....and all she says is that she wants a husband. But this doesn't mean HE'S the ONE for her. It's like she just wants to check him off of her list....I have a husband- check. You don't do that.....love doesn't work that way.

She is a weird-o! Still watching....

Love some crap TV.

Sacred Alone Time

I have waited practically all day to be alone. To have some 'me' time...peace. quiet. facebooking. ebaying. craptv watching.

And now I have it. And am bored.

Nothing on TV though I bet The Bachelor comes on very soon, but then I get too tired and fall asleep.

Frustrated with Ebay because it seems even my nice boutique-y stuff doesn't sell for what others get for theirs.

Nobody I want to talk to on FB.

And I'm actually tired. Too tired for laundry. Too tired to clean. Too tired to pick up. Too tired to actually get up from this kitchen table. Kids are in bed...Big Brother is in my bed because Daddy is out of town.

Oh and did I mention I'm a little lonely? Daddy gone. I don't mind him traveling, it's just that the nights get a wee bit spooky sometimes. So I'm glad Big Brother is in my bed. I know I can't let him do it all the time, but I act like it's a really big deal so nobody gets spoiled. I would let him sleep in our bed every time Daddy left, but he is the kind of kid who would NEVER go back to his own bed and that's not fair to him.

It's these times when I need to just go to bed. Not sure if I could sleep. Normally I'd be in my bed watching TV but Big Brother is asleep in there. I could read a magazine, but too tired.

Or the Bible. Too tired.

And so I ramble.

Thinking about putting house on the market to move to Asheville, NC. Any advice? Won't go if we can't get decent money for our house. But really want to go to the mtns. Miss the mtns. Normally I would get all locked up thinking about moving, but for some reason the thought of moving there doesn't do this to me. Maybe this is God's way of telling me this is the right time, the right move. We'll see. Will just keep on praying for what God's will is in our lives.

Wow--quite random tonight. Good thing there isn't anything sweet in the house. It would be gone. Even the cereal is calling my name....pitiful I know.

Miss Bug's First Day at 'School'

I take Miss Bug to the same school her brother went to just last year and I swear I think she remembered the place! She walked right in like she owned the place! (Not that she doesn't do that just about everywhere we go!) We went into her classroom and Big Brother's Teacher's Assistant from PreK was there because the 2 year old teacher was absent. I really like her so was relieved that it wasn't someone I didn't know.

It was quite nostalgic going back to the place where my son went for 3 years and where I taught PreK for one.

I get a text from the PreK teacher telling me that when Miss Bug's teacher had her back turned that Miss Bug went and took a big ol' bite of her biscuit that was on the table! I guess she feels pretty comfortable, wouldn't you?

I kept telling them how different Miss Bug was from her big brother. Now they all know...

O Happy Day!

Big Brother went back to school today--finally! We were out for almost 3 weeks. That is forever. He was a little weepy at home, but Daddy took him to school and he made it without choking up. Had his mother taken him, it would probably have been a different story. What's up with that?

Miss Bug went to her first day of the 2 year old preschool today. She will go 2 days a week. She is going where I taught Prek and Big Brother went for all 3 years of preschool. I didn't know if she would remember going there at all, but maybe she did? She walked in there like she owned the place and went right into her classroom. She had never even been in that area before. Leave it to me to have 2 completely different children. They may look alike, but they are so different in so many ways.

I did get a text from one of the teachers saying that she had found her teacher's biscuit on the table and helped herself to it. Oh lovely impression on the first day! So glad I know the teachers! I tell you this child is a HOOT. Rarely a dull moment.

So, in my free time I got to go to Lowe's to buy hooks and to the Factory Outlets about 20 miles up the interstate to exchange a few things. Oh how I love shopping. I really do. It just makes me happy. I don't necessarily have to buy anything, but just looking around makes my heart smile. Now actually purchasing something does make me even happier, but it is definitely not necessary. Just the fact that I got to do it sans children was glorious! Carters has some smokin' deals right now. With it being very cold for South Georgia, I did buy my girl a few warmer things. And I found her some pink fleece pants and a striped pink long sleeve shirt--all for under 10 dollars at the Gap Outlet....a steal I tell you! I do love the Gap Outlet for children.

OK must do a few things (finish up packing Christmas stuff) and watch some DVR'ed TV while I can. So nice to have some child-free time. I forgot how precious it is...

Potty Training Letdown

So I thought she was ready. She is not. She was in big girl panties and peed in the potty and then after that it went downhill. She peed in her panties and got upset, but then after that, even though we were having her sit on the potty every 30 minutes, she didn't go that time, but other times. One time I was going potty and she said she didn't have to, and then when she heard my stream she looked at me and said, "pee pee" and peed on herself. After that she would tell me when she had already peed (4 more times) in her big girl panties.

She really cared less. Yes, she knew after the fact, but didn't really care. I have a very stubborn and determined kind of kid, so I take this as she isn't ready. I am in no hurry to do it, so it doesn't really matter to me.

She had shown interest in caring about pooping--pointed in books to where each person/animal/etc poops from, but that's about it. I'll continue to talk about big girl panties and the potty, but I'm giving it a little while again.

She did just turn 2 in October and I had seen several people that were potty training their children at church, so I just went for it. But I just am NOT going to battle with this. I am hoping when the weather gets warmer we can hang out outside sans any clothing and go from there.

By the way, I'm ready for everyone to go back to school. They go back on Thursday. Not soon enough. Miss Bug starts her only 2 year old preschool class 2 days a week and I cannot express how excited I am...it will be an adjustment with nap scheduling and pick up time at Big Brother's school, but we'll manage.

And I have to admit, I even called to see if I could change her to the 3 day a week program! :)

Oh and here's my UNCENSORED part for the day:
What really chaps my hide is when I'm grocery shopping at Wal-Mart (hey--it's cheaper) and there were two girls there each with a kid in a buggy and they had big ol' Coach bags, not purses, but bags, and they were using the WIC system to pay for their groceries. In case you don't know what WIC is, it is government paid groceries. Makes me crazy!

Baby Sleep & Potty Training

These are two of the things on my mind right now. Neither of which I'm too crazy about dealing with at this time.

Ok, so Miss Bug turned 2 in October. She shows SOME interest in the potty. She is a go-getter in many ways, so I am thinking this has the potential to happen pretty quickly. On the other hand, she is quite stubborn and may revolt altogether. Today is the day I said I'd start (once the dryer was fixed-long story). I took a few quizzes online and she passes more than 1/2 of them, but some of them I have no idea. I found one old potty book from when my son was younger, we own a potty, and I just recently bought training underwear..am trying to go steer clear of Pull-Ups for this one--merely because I still have quite a few diapers and don't feel like wasting them. Not that I'll be using them, but whatever. I'm just trying to do this without Pull-Ups! (At night we will try diapers hoping not to confuse, but I'm sure she'll let us know if she is not okay with this.) So today we try. It is before 7 am and I've not finished my first cup of coffee so won't officially start until after. And as I type this I'm thinking, "Should I wait until tomorrow? Or the next day? Or the next?" I could easily make excuses all day long--like she is starting a new Preschool two days a week starting on Thursday. Should this be a cause for delay? To some yes, to others no. I'm not really in a huge hurry to do this--just don't want to miss the 'window' of opportunity if it is opening right now!

The other thing--SLEEP! I love it. In the top 3 of my things to do probably. My daughter, however, is such an early riser. Not sure WHY...up before 6 am. I DO NOT like seeing the clock's hour hand to say 5. EVER--UNLESS it is a scheduled 5am wake-up time. She goes to bed anywhere betweeen 7-7:45 at the very latest, but gets up so dang early. Sometimes we get 6:20 or 6:30 which is MUCH better, but man, lately, it is e.a.r.l.y. And it really frustrates me....

Then nap time is only an hour and a half. REALLY? I was putting her to bed around 11:30 but this 2 year old program is from 9-1. Wondering (hoping, praying, wishing) if it will help with the sleep situation....more so at night than during the day. Would prefer longer sleep nights than naps. See, I have to pick up John around 2:15 from school and so I'd have to wake her up or do some swapping in the pick-up department at school. Since he is in Kinder (or maybe just a wee little bit too scheduled), he has to know EACH and EVERY plan to feel completely secure.That whole Kindergarten adjustment is for a whole new post.

I have 2 small children wanting breakfast...at 6 freaking 50am. Maybe it will be a good thing to send everyone off to their 'school'.!!!!

Uncensored

Am thinking about coming back...and going completely uncensored. This might have to go private, so we'll see. Before I worried about who would see and what they would say, but there have been a lot of times I just wanted to vent and I knew Facebook was not the place to do it!

I am sitting here feeding my children breakfast in preparation for church. Daddy is driving home from Tennessee from an unexpected funeral. I'm sure the drive is going to take forever seeing as how it is the last Sunday before most schools resume from the Winter Break.

I should be in the shower (as usual).

We have been busy here to say the least. I quit working part-time at my church, my big boy had a very rocky start to Kinder (that is for another post), my little girl needs to be potty trained, and my Christmas decorations are still up.

Oh and our dryer quit the day we got home from visiting the family for Christmas. Good times.

I have missed lots of you, but just couldn't keep up...hopefully I will be better this time....

Not sure if anyone is 'there', but thought I'd give it a shot.

Happy New Year! None of my resolutions were actually written down, but I guess if I type them then that is a start...
1.Eat better
2. Feed my kids better
3. No cussing (yeah right)
4. Exercise

What are yours?