D.R.A.M.A. at the PreK level!

I don't even know where to begin! Small town drama is getting very old and I wish our house would sell so that I could just whisk myself away from it all.

Long story short...my son's school (church preschool) has got some drama going on with it right now. It is not a big school, just some mother's morning out programs, 2 year old classes, 3 year old classes and then a prekindergarten. I'd say they have about 80 kids there total--including full and part time. It is only a 9am-1pm program. Quite quaint, you'd think. The administration--director, assistant director and 'helper' (I guess you would call her) all stand outside each morning and afternoon to greet and wave goodbye to parents. We've now coined them with the term "Walmart Greeters" because apparently that is all they do.

I've begun seeing how great the teachers are, how hard they work and then see how little the administration does. For example, they'll have 7 2 year olds in a classroom with one adult and nobody helps them in the bathroom--which is down the hall, I might add. Shouldn't this poor woman have help when taking all these kids to the bathroom?

Well, just recently another parent and I arranged a field trip to Publix--the local wonderful grocery store--and when the teachers told the director the plans, she told them we couldn't do it because she didn't feel like dealing with another field trip. The thing is, THEY don't deal with the field trips--WE do it all along with the teachers--WE drive, WE make arrangements, etc. So, the other parent went in and talked to the director and she was very positive saying that she'd look at her calendar and see if that is something they could work out. I'm thinking, "Just look at your calendar right now--is there anything on it? Ok, let's send out the permission slips then." It's about power with them.

Here's the other biggie--I worked there. I worked there 2 years ago and I KNOW how they work. They weren't too bad with me, but bad enough for me not to go back. The other thing is I can't say much b/c I worked there and know too much. I know that they tout that they have Chapel once a week and Music once a week and they don't. I know that they tout having field trips almost monthly in their advertising...and they don't. I know that the teachers need help and they don't help them. I know that instead of subbing for a teacher who is out, they take the helper from the other classroom to fill in so that they don't have to.

It is also important to note that the only reason I sent my son there this year was because the school I was going to send him to had to shut down their prek class b/c they didn't have enough kids. I had him enrolled somewhere else and then last minute had to put him here.

I really like his teachers though. And that is what I have to remember is most important and is who he deals with on a daily basis. I have to remember that they are the ones influencing his life.

Here's the next thing....in his class of 13 there are 2 teachers. They've been there since day 1. Well, one of the teachers--the teacher assistant--got called into the director's office and told that since there are only 13 kids in the class and not a higher number like last year that they are probably going to have to cut her down to 3 days a week because they can't pay their bills for the summer if they keep paying her. Well, it's practically FEBRUARY people. Wouldn't you have thought about this back in SEPTEMBER when there was STILL only 13 kids in there? This poor girl is so stressed about money and how she is going to pay her bills if they put her down to 3 days a week. And the big thing is that they aren't telling us parents. Well, this parent knows and is going to keep an eye out and see if they really do take her down to 3 days a week. And what really gets me is that the director and the asst. director pay themselves all summer long, too, when they aren't even there. So, maybe they should cut down what they get paid all summer long in order to keep their teachers there for the kids? The assistant director just now came on as working 5 days a week--she did only work 3 until this year. And now she's on 5 days a week this year! Shouldn't they have thought about that at the beginning of the year?

It is making me crazy. And it is so small town drama-ish. It's like middle school. I want to go in there and scream at the top of my lungs that I'm sick of them getting away with this! They are blaming the 'preschool board' saying that they don't know how they can justify this to the 'board'. The board doesn't know ANYTHING that's going on...it was like that when I was there!

I actually called a couple of other schools to see if I could get Big Brother in there, but they are full. Plus, I have to remember his teachers that he deals with everyday are great. It's the administration I can't stand.

Hopefully Daddy can start taking him to school and picking him up again now that he's back in town b/c I hate it!

Thank you for letting me vent. I was told I need to just 'kill them with kindness', but that would be killing me!!!!

How Come

Big Brother had a a friend over to play, we went to swimming lessons, I fed dinner to 2 small children, bathed those same 2 small children and put those same 2 small children to bed and I feel like I've just run the Boston Marathon?

Maybe it also has to do with:
the 423,456,434 loads of laundry I've done,
and the vacuuming,
and the sweeping,
and the mopping,
and the dishes,
and the dusting,
and the booty-wiping.......

I think it was the whining the ensued when flossing Big Brother's teeth that about put me over the edge. Floss can do that to ya, you know......

Fender Bender for the Plaid Girl

Warning: This post should be rated R for language...

Yes, the title says it all. I don't even know where to start. I swear, this must be the shittiest 2 weeks I've ever had. I guess it could be worse, but damn, it sure is sucking right now.

So, I make plans for drinks/appetizers with friends and then to see the Sex & The City movie last night. I get in the car, drive up I-95 and then as I'm getting off at the exit ramp I stop b/c there is a red light. I'm listening to my man (John Mayer) and so excited to just be out and away from home and small children. I am stopped. The next thing I know I hit the car in front of me. WTF? I didn't even know I hit her until the lovely bang I hear. I guess I took my foot off of the brake.

I drive a Honday Odyssey (my husband calls it the Loser Cruiser) and the woman in front is in a Suburban (freaking tank). The first thing I see is her rear bumper. Minor ding. Minor. So I'm thinking I won't be that bad. HOLY SHIT> looks horrible. I have her trailer hitch imprinted on my front bumper along with several scratches and dents. I swear, I thought I was going to throw up right there. The whole time I'm thinking, 'How in the hell did I do this?" I still am pondering it. I'm now wondering if I subconsciously thought she was going so I accelerated b/c I really don't see how it did the damage that it did if I just crept up on her........

The lady was a mom and so nice and probably close to my age. She was so nice and felt sorry for me and said she was glad that we both were ok. So, we are trying to decide if we should call the cops b/c we both know whose fault it was (mine) and we are both unhurt and our vehicles are drivable. We are both calling our insurance and a Georgia State Patrol drives up.....welcome Officer Jerkface.

He did the typical 'license and registration' and blah blah blah. He actually took forever and the other lady and I were both wondering what the hell he was doing...being thorough--using some tool to mark what happened, etc. and writing up an accident report. And then writing up my TICKET. WTF?

So, he comes over and I see the paper (for some reason I recognize it--I wonder why?). I say, "I'm getting a ticket?" He says, "Yes, for this to happen you were following too closely. That is what I'm citing you for. Though you can take it to court if you want." And then continues to say how I can take it to the judge. I can contest it. I can talk to a judge. Really, you can take it to court. Seriously, he says it like 6 times. I GOT IT. THANK YOU. SHUT UP. I finally said, "It's fine." But I was thinking, " SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT. UP."

I just didn't have the heart to go to the movie. I was just so upset. I just knew my hubby was going to KILL me. He didn't and was very sweet. I am just so upset with myself. He just told me that I need to pay better attention. He also asked me if I was on the phone. NO I WASN'T. I PROMISE. Seriously, I wasn't. I'd probably feel a little better if I was b/c then I'd have more of a reason or something to blame. But, nope. Just stupidity I guess......or daydreaming or ???

So, that is me. I also had a metal Gator tag on the front and part of it broke off and is all smashed (No comments necessary from the Peanut Gallery--Clemsongirl!).

I took it in to check my damage. So far it's $1600. New bumper, possibly grill, and something to do with the air conditioner. And the nice little old man told me to be checking b/c my air conditioner might not work like it is supposed to---and yes, I noticed when I put the air on 60 degrees that it wasn't that cold. Usually in my car it is freezing if you do that. Granted it is 100bazillion degrees in S. Georgia right now, so I'm wondering if that is it. I. Seriously. Doubt. It.

And here's the clincher-my in-laws and family are coming on Saturday to Miss Bug's baptism. We're talking MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL and all my family too. I'm sure I'll get an earful. I am thinking about pretending like I don't know it's there and then whenever someone mentions it, I'll be like, "What happened? What are you talking about?"

What do you think?

1-800-I-DON'T-THINK-SO

The phone rings this morning and I look at the caller ID. It is a 1-800 number. Normally I don't answer these, but I just hit the 'talk' button. Don't ask me why. I think I just wanted the phone to stop ringing so I could drink my coffee in peace before it got cold. I say, "Hello?"

On the other end I hear this woman hurriedly announce her name and ask if my name is Karen M#$#%*n? I say yes and then she says "Blahblahblahblahblah you owe $24,900 blahblahblah." WTH? I almost dropped my coffee mug.

As I pick my chin up from off of the floor I say, "Excuse me?"

Then she repeats slower saying, "You owe $24,900 in student loans."

I say, "Ummm. No I don't."

She says, "Is your name Karen M%#$#$n?"

I say, "Yes, but it wasn't when I went to school."

She says," Was it Karen L##%#$?"

I say, "No. It was Karen F#%d."

She then asks for my date of birth. I give it. Then she asks for the last 4 digits of my social security number. (I don't think so.) I told her I didn't feel comfortable giving her that. Then she asks if she can have my address so that I won't receive any mail from them in the future. I start to give it to her and then don't finish.

So, what is that about? Just because my name is Karen M#%##n doesn't mean that I'm your Karen M$$%n !!!!! I have a VERY common last name. I think there are 4 of them in just the small town that I live in, so there have to be a ton out there.

It really rattled me. I think I had heart palpitations. Seriously.

Now had it been a credit card company saying I owed that much to J Crew, then that's a different story. Just kidding, honey! (Husband reads my blog. Don't want him to have a heart attack.)

Update on Crayon in Dryer and then some...

So my concoction of Tide laundry detergent, 43950943 sprays of Shout, 1/2 bottle of Oxyclean liquid and Goof Off--found it on my husband's workbench (smells like lighter fluid) worked! Pretty much everything came out. I did have to wash it on Hot, which I never do, so we'll see if the pants fit. And if they don't, then you can bet your sweet ass I'm going to call up and get another pair sent to me.

Have been feeling stuck in my own home. A prisoner holed up with diapers, baby food, nursing pads, Legos, Lincoln Logs, Hot Wheels, crayons (duh) and the random baby shit that fills your living room. As I look around I see the Exersaucer, Baby Einstein Gym, Bumbo, baby swing and a race track with 3945584839304543 Hot Wheels cars (not Matchbox--keep it straight). And do you know those things hurt like a sonofabitch when you step on them in bare feet?

My next home will have a bonus room or a basement or SOME other place to put all my kids' shit that doesn't necessarily fit in their room. Got that Clemsongirl? (By the way--we have Open House on Sunday--pray for serious buyers!)

So, today I took Miss Bug and we went shopping for my hair goods--have to have Aveda. Not only for the smell, either! Also went to outlets near my house and shopped at the Gap Outlet and Tommy Hilfiger outlet. Then Bug decided it was time to go home. Not after I spent some cashola at the Gap. Bug got a CUTE dress--will try to post a pic later, and another outfit. Big Brother got 2 pair of shorts and a white polo. I got 2 pairs of capri pants and a pair of flip flops. Hubby will shit if he sees I got another pair of flip flops. But they were $9.99! I STILL can't find many shirts that fit b/c of my whole chest drama (see previous post). I swear, if you aren't tall and skinny it is hard to find shirts that fit these days. Everything is LONG. Does anyone else have this problem??? Seriously, I'm NOT a fat person! I'll have to post a pic soon so you can see that I'm not some huge person with unrealistic expectations. I just don't want to look like a hoochiemama.

The point of this post is to say that I feel better now that I got me some retail therapy.

Tomorrow is my paper party--I'm having a consultant from Paperly come and show us her stuff. Check out their stuff! I bought wine, cheese and some sweet stuff. Hope it is successful!

Good Night and have a great weekend!

Magenta Crayon + Dryer =

a tie-dyed cluster f*%k of laundry which included my brand new Nantucket Red J. Crew pants that I have only worn one time and my favorite black sweater. Dear God in Heaven, what have I become? I'm SOOOOO in the trenches of mommyhood these days. CALGON...take me awwaaayyyy!

Damn Grey's Anatomy...

will it EVER come on again? WTH? What is up with the writer's strike? I am needing me some Patrick Dempsey......verymuchso. I turn on the TV, holding my breath, saying a silent prayer, repeating a positive mantra to myself and WOOSH. SIKE. No Grey's. What a pain in my ass. I can't take much more High School Reunion, reruns of Beauty and the Geek, Supernanny, Wife Swap, The Bachelor, etc. I need some quality TV.....even miss Private Practice, though I think it is gone for good, no?

Enough rambling......am going to find something else to watch. Maybe Real World is on...

My weekend

So, yeah, I know it is already Wednesday, but I've not gotten to post since before the weekend, so I need to update. Did my wifely duties and took kids to see their grandparents (my in-laws) who were at their timeshare in Hilton Head for my nephew's Spring Break. Hubby wasn't going to be there until Friday night, but really wanted me to go on Thursday so his parents could see the kids. So, yes, I took Big Brother and Miss Bug on Thursday. Short drive. Thank goodness.

Here's the fun part: it is a 2 bedroom condo and we all stayed in the one bedroom. Miss Bug in the Pack-N-Play (which I have never been crazy about), Big Brother in one bed (then with Daddy when he got there), me in the other. I had to have a bed to myself because if Miss Bug wakes up and starts squawking in the middle of the night, I have to try to quiet her so as to not wake up the other sleepy heads. It was like a 3 ring circus putting everyone to bed. I managed to get Bug to bed first, then would threaten Big Brother with his life if he made noise in the bed when it was his bedtime. He normally talks and sings before he goes to bed, so this was a hard one for him. Thankfully, the sleep machine was our friend so it helped lessen the noise situation. On Friday night I had to go in there and tell Big Brother that if he stayed quiet and went on to sleep and not talk that I would let him have a piece of candy when he woke up. Worked like a charm.

Nana and Pa let Big Brother have Yoo-Hoo by the way which made him bounce off the walls. I don't recommend it-- especially at dinnertime. Those will not be a staple in our house for many years, if ever.

SO SO SO glad to see Daddy walk in the door on Friday night.

Then my saving grace came on Saturday. I got to go to the JCREW outlet all by myself! I was SO SO SO excited. You would've thought I had won the lottery or lost 10 pounds the way I was acting. I remained calm in front of the in laws so as to seem 'normal', then on the way to the car I caught myself skipping.....

Bought some PLAID stuff and will post pictures of it later. It was wonderful....truly what I needed. A girl's gotta have some retail therapy. I'm just sayin....

PS. I forgot to mention that Friday night Bug woke up at 11PM, 3AM, 5AM and was up for the day at 5AM. Now where am I supposed to go in a 2 bedroom condo at that time? All bedrooms had sleeping folks in them and the nephew was on the pull-out couch. I ended up in the bathroom trying to convince Miss Bug that it was not time to get up just yet. I swear I considered going out the front door if the stroller would've been readily accessible and I knew where a room key might be--all clad in my pj's and flip flops!

On Oprah Today...

I am OVER, and I mean O-VER the freaking OSMONDS. Why is everyone so freaking ga-ga over them? Donnie and Marie just performed on Oprah and I'm SO sick of them. JUST LOOK AT HER! eck...

They are all over the place these days. Now Valerie Bertenelli is around quite a bit too, but at least she is normal and not all goody-goody.

Now I'm sure we'll get to hear about Marie's eating disorder, etc.

And yes there are a lot of them--like 125. But hell, there are plenty of families like that around the world. Here's the clincher--one of the Osmond women was named OLIVE OSMOND!! Try saying that one five times fast...

I just realized this is a re-run. Shit.