Walmart Parking Lot

Have you ever seen someone walking around, cruising if you will, the Wal-Mart parking lot? You wonder if they have lost something, are wanting to break into a car or are a homeless person?

Well, for the past 2 times I have gone to Wal-Mart that was me--but I wasn't lost--my car was...couldn't find it to save my life.

Guess I should pay better attention to where I park? I guess if I wasn't running around like a chicken with my head cut off half of the time I might remember better......and if you are guilty as well, now you know you are not alone.

Honestly...

This was taped on my mailbox today: Honest as the day is long..........
Well, hot damn!

And you might have wondered why I want to move?

I swear, I couldn't make up something like this if I tried!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR.PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W.BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions.I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in hiseyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.Somebody toldus the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:I have just released e-Chicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ....... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath thechicken?

BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

'It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible.' ~President George Washington

**Mad about plaid girl sides with Dr. Seuss**

Caved in...

ended up getting the Matchbox Pop-Up Adventure Set--Shark Escape--at the freaking expensive toy store! Called Wal-Mart. It wasn't there. Called KB Toys. Wasn't there either. Those are the only other places in town with toys except for the expensive place.

So. Yes. My dumbass went to expensive toystore and bought toy for child. He was THRILLED. I got a break. He went to bed early. All is well in our household.

Amen.

Now if only Miss Bug will not wake up 42 times for me to get her pacifier back into her mouth. She is a pro at pulling it out. Not so much at the putting back part. Must work on that. Any suggestions other than some duck tape? I swear if someone could think of a safe way to keep a paci in a child's mouth, they'd be a gazillionaire.

Shark Attack Rescue Center

...is supposed to be at Target so when I went there I'd only have to make ONE trip today. I told Big Brother if he behaved all day that he'd get it. Such a bad Mommy I am sometimes. You aren't supposed to do this bribing thing; well, at least only sometimes, and I've done it too much lately. But what is a Mom to do when Daddy is out of town and I need a freaking break?

So I decided to run my errands at Target (AKA Hundred Dollar Store) and it wasn't there!

I guess I'm off to Wal-Mart later to see if it is there. If not, I'm up shit creek because I'm not going to that expensive toystore on the Island and paying $9 more for it. A girl has her limits.

I'll let you know as the saga continues....

Sorry

I invited several of you to check out my blog, but didn't have it open to the public. Sorry! I hope you come back to check it out!